...obeying the voices in my head...

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Kurt Cobain suicide note...

I have loved this guy and really admired him and here's to remember his suicide note which I somehow find beautifully written.
-----------------------

"To Boddah
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.
All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.
For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.
On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!
I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.
I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.
Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.
Peace, love, empathy.Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.For her life, which will be so much happier without me.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!"

--------------------------------------------

27 comments:

Andrew said...

Rest in peace, beautiful soul.

Christina said...

rest in peace.
ur music screams my frustrations.
people in general, in my opinion are naieve fools. you truly are an amazing person to me, you remind me alot of myself.

NRkey Menon said...

Thank you!!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful, though depressing, he could not have said anything dissappointing really

Anonymous said...

you have inspired me to love music no matter what kind and especialy your music will live on forever and though i was only a child when you comitted suicide i still felt like i knew you as if you were close to me. THANK YOU. R.I.P. kurt cobain

lauraa said...

written with soo much dignity,
i just respect him soo much for his work and how he is soo humble!!
we love you kurt, rest in peace

Anonymous said...

kurt cobain was truley a musical genius. he may be dead but his spirit lives on through his music, inspiring us. i will never forget the man who has helped me through the darkest times in my life, we love you kurt R.I.P

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Elen said...

yeah, this isnt the suicide note.
this is the letter he wrote for when he left Nirvana, not the world.. lol.
look it up (:

Joffy said...

@elen, yes it is the suicide note, so use your own adive and "look it up". It is adressed to boddah, which was his imaginary friend as a child.

viagra online said...

Hi, well be sensible, well-all described

Anonymous said...

Christine said,
Almost gone for a decade and still not one person has done what u have. Thank u for sharing yourself with the world. R.i.p. Generation x loves u

Michael grewball said...

their is nothing more i can say about a man who has said it all, spilled his guts, his thoughts, his heart out, and for nothing but the thought of finding happieness, Kurt Cobain, you are a true legand, a friend, a god to me. One day when the world is right, i will meet you in the heavens where everything will be bliss

grandlineSunny said...

Kurtwasagreatman...ionlypraythathefoundtheanswershewaslookinfor.......

Anonymous said...

R.I.P Kurt Cobain

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Anonymous said...

I am a fan of Kurt because I have this psch dsorder called manic depression I got well when I started listening his song when I was teen but when he died I was so fckn lonely I thought of committing the same occurrence as he did but I guess there's a little sanity that still lurks in my brain so I'm proud that I am able to suppress this insanity that occupies me...

Anonymous said...

He was schizophrenic!