Cure

There are days when things aren't going your way.
There have been such days.
Yesterday wasn't one. But that doesn't mean it doesn't matter.
Although yesterday was tiring. In what way?
Hmmm...well I have been pretty social, those are from my poor standards so that might not come up to the collective standards of social-'ness'.
But then I had to roam around pleasing people from every hang out invites. And hence the wandering nomad was 'busy'.
Felt drained at the end of the day. A bit strung out in a way.

I reach home.
Slouch on the big leather cushion that was my sofa.
Making random contemplative thoughts in my head in order to keep it busy from the withdrawal symptoms of being suddenly idle.
That sudden emptiness strikes you then.

The thing that happens at the end of a big event. Yes it is technically a withdrawal syndrome of a euphoria of a passing event.
Like goin on a trip with friends for the weekend and then suddenly getting back to work on a monday.
That feeling.

What could be the cure?
I am no Doctor Phil, but then a voice from a kitchen beckoned me.
An invitation to the dinner table.
And there it was. The cure, on the table.
No ayurveda. No homeopathy. No allopathy.
Three words: Mom made Spaghetti.

And that was it. The joy was back in my eyes.
(I think a tear rolled past my cheek).
And I was jumping like a six year old who got the remote controlled car he wished for.

Minutes later I was wiping the plate clean (which is considered pretty rude in China, or so I have read)...the foodie high was on.

-
Spaghetti Junkie

Shopping and the art of standing like a coat rack

So there I was, in the womens section for ethnic wear. Staring at all shapes and colors of cloth cutouts designed to look whatever their definition of "ethnic" was. My sister was in the trial room for what seemed like hours to me, or probably somewhere down the line my idleness was so causal that it tore through the fabric of space-time creating a localized worm hole thus trapping me in a time loop of painstaking idleness.

All my idleness didn't go in complete vain though. I was proud to learn a thing about myself - I have PATIENCE! Although I don't know the collective magnitude of what and how much of patience justifies the word to be written in caps...but hey, I do have it.

The thing is I had to play the role of the faithful driver for my sis who has a deadline for her shopping dates and items. I prefer chauffeur...no wait...I prefer being called the transporter. Gives me that Jason Statham-esque Mercedes driving image kicking some ass on the way.

Which is the exact opposite of what I'm doing right now.

Now one thing I noticed is how women shop. When when you see a woman shop...you realize that men don't actually shop. They pick up stuff. Shopping is this whole art consisting of various sub branches and psychological nuances and all sorts of meticulous data you can put in. And my sister is not a woman when it's shop time. She has the masculine ability of getting bored while shopping...and that too within the initial few minutes. Although this would go in the 'pros' list when it comes to me being the 'transporter'...her methodical perseverance and dedication is a total let down thats scrawled all over the 'cons' list.

The following observations are on the various women I have observed shopping while standing like a dork in the ladies section.

-Women come.

-Go through all the sections once.

-Think about all the sections.

-Think about what others would think about the clothes in those sections.

-Short list a few clothes in order to give some hope to the guy who works at the store.

-Shatter his hopes by rejecting all the clothes that the woman had just short listed in order to experiment on a fresh batch.

-Through this process the locations do change from one shop to another.

-There is no accurate finalization...only and approximation of what they think is close to perfection. This condition is highly dependent on whether they find the 'Ohthatdress!'.

(The 'Ohthatdress!' usually occurs when women spot some dress which is something that they were predetermined about since it would have been worn by someone else such as a friend or a celebrity...or some influential woman)

-After the process which spans a few hours that casualty report might consist of only a handful of or no particular clothing. (If the budget is not an issue the woman might come out with bags weighing more than the woman herself). [m_woman>m_{bags when tcurrent time>>tsaturation]}

[note:1. This is a vast field of study, my points are a crude generalization of my own observations.

2. These points are strictly limited to shopping of clothing, things like cosmetics and perfumes require yet another flow chart though the process remains somewhat the same.]

The pick it up men method :

-Go to shop.

-Go through all/most/very little of the stuff once.

-Decide on the basis of budget first, then liking.

-Pick it up.

Finish.

It may seem I'm being violently sexist here, but I condemn none of the methods. Both are equally bad in a way. One is too meticulous and the other has the complete lack of it.

There has to be some fine balance.

Hence my conclusion is if you go to shop...go with a gay dude. That's a balance.

The blogger returns...again

I've been having a massive case of writer's block lately which has catapulted me into this unwanted sense of laziness to pen down not even a single thought running through my head. After half an hour of the mental anguish of making decisions no matter how trivial they may be, writing this post has been a result of some tremendously redundant over-thinking.

First things first, this is not the first time. As observed from the frequency of my posts, which have a tendency to appear as spasmodic bursts scattered unevenly on the blog time line I have no such pang of regret on being irregular.

Deux. I have been feeling pretty disconnected with a few people including the mental personification of this blog lately for unknown reasons. Well the more I delay my 'confession time' acts the less is the probability of it showing up in any conversation (even the ones I have with myself). So even sharing a thought has been rendered a sinful deed somehow with the whole screwed up moral and conscience issues in my head. I'm already the Ebenezer Scrooge for this winter it seems.

Tres. I have been through a lot lately, and with each passing chronicle, which I always plan to pen down on the blog... it ultimately results in failure to launch. And sadly I think I forgot more than half of what I was to write.

Well one main thing that has happened lately was playing and touring with a band. Although the word 'touring' maybe a bit of an exaggeration, it still counts legit.

The two places of the tour have been IIT Kanpur and BITS Pilani. Two of india's top (10/20?) institutions. Between the two band competitions we had a 5 day stay in Delhi which was an adventure in itself. There were some really great times when we would end up laughing so long as to literally rolling on the floor with our hands over our stomachs...to the times were our faces would be painted with all shades of melancholy and loss. Met some really great people, whose lives put in one word I would gladly confess - envious! On the other hand there were people with attitudes and egos the size of which would have been a highly arduous task to measure.

Though one point clearly stood out,which is nothing new actually, about the fact that I always tend to mingle/interact with people older than me. The fact that after a point in the 20's the age gap(usually ones of 2-10) years melt down and doesn't matter much, or so I have observed has some part to play...but still I have a natural affinity to a more mature populous. Cough, I'm 21 dammit!

The one good thing about these band competitions and the people in it was the fact that in our country the whole "rock scene" and the participating people are a pretty small minority. And that somehow tends to bring people together. I was on the bass for these two shows and my bass guitar failed me twice by refusing to let out a single wavelength of sound. And the best part is both these times we had some or the other rocker playing the role of a good Samaritan willing to lend us a bass guitar for our performance. The first show in Kanpur when the bass died down, the winning band(Weapon Shop,Kolkota) volunteered to help and lent us their bass for the gig. There were band members who we would talk to, give wishes and hugs to and still not know their names. It was that feeling of belonging and being one with the whole crowd where you need not be afraid to express who you are and what your choices have made you. There was this mysterious sense and feeling of freedom. Although it wasn't all love and roses as it sounds.

Then there were times when I got piss drunk and FUBAR, which as I look back now were some pretty hilarious scenarios. Went through some really shitty times right after that, which I guess might just be a notch above the thin red line that says 'barely mentionable things'.

The travel, which somehow seemed a lot more than it should have. The boredom and the stagnancy of a commute.

And as for the one thing that was constant throughout - the bandmates. The four of us were an eclectic mix of different backgrounds and age groups, the youngest being 17 and the oldest 27 but still bound together with the same way of music and some disastrously unthinkable jokes which somehow managed to entertain a wide audience of people.

Well thats all the verbosity I can afford for now!

8765 hours

A month from now my college going days will soon be crashing through the finish line. Although I've still got a year left, but the last semester is a project/training semester (or so we are informed!).
A month! Come to think of it thats nothing compared to the last three years I've gone through.

Then It hit me. Three Years.
So much has happened within these three years. Yet at this point all I can hear is the rapid whooshing sound of the years passing me by.
Which again struck me as an ironic fact! I was never really all that fond of my not-so-perfect alma mater. I have been pretty vocal(well,in blog sense) about it on this post three years ago. And now here I am. I actually remember writing that post. I remember that each day of college in my first year...regretting each time I stepped off my college bus. The College entrance always had some symbolic congruence to Lord Sauron's Mordor, which was totally...well partially a mental projection. Each long day, counting how long it would take to get out of there. Each minute which lasted an hour, an hour that went on for a day...you get my point.

Again I come to the point of Adaptability, how things started changing once I started accepting what they were. I tried to rebel out by giving entrance tests again in my first year...I got a few places in B'lore. Something stopped me back. And the fact that I did not regret it was the best part.
No, not coz I started liking the institution a lot more. Frankly I still resent the way it still runs. But then I had to embrace the crap within and carry on with whatever that was around me. Life went on.

36 months have passed by.
After being through all that shit. The depression I caught on the first year, the smoking, threats of getting detained due to low attendance in every sem, the absence of any real tutelage, the people who weren't on the same plane of understanding... and then I got used to it.
Thats actually an amazing thing about human nature...put in any rut where things which might be of intense dislike, we get desensitized^*. And it happened well. I was numb to all of it...it barely mattered then.

And here I am, at a point where my status has metamorphosed from 'growing up' to 'grown up'(actually that point is still on debate with my parents).Am i actually standing on the precipice of taking 'that plunge' into the big bad world?

I remember a year back I was talking to Dagny, having a conversation about the same thing when her going to college days were about to end. I still remember how I was talking about it and projecting myself on that situation. Somehow when it comes to projecting the past or the future we tend to romanticize things a bit more that required. But those evolve to dreams, don't they?

I have no clue what lies ahead.
I can't say I am prepared.
But I'm just a Dreamer, and I'm good at it!

---

^* - not everytime

Verbal throw up

When was the last time you felt low?

When was the last time you felt like things were in your grasp and you let it go?

Feeling ignored?
Frustrated?
Deserted?

I knew what things are and where they belong. Yet there are some things beyond our control. Things which cannot be changed. And then you have to stand and face them for what they are. It fascinating when you see the halo...but then it fades to black when you spot the horns.

It's actually tempting to fall in love. To go to that feeling of being cared and caring for. That big soft huge ball of happiness innocuous as it may seem. Tempted to share. Create a bond.

But reality know where to hit. That ball only had the outer coating of happiness, maybe its hollow or bitter inside. Who knows?

I'm scared sometimes of how dense my thoughts become.
But I'm happy for that fact that I can see something without clouding my sense of judgement (for the moment).
Things can never be absolutely partitioned in a good/bad happy/sad way.
The spectrum is what intrigues me, and exploring it is fun I guess.

[Please note that the post has been written in a soporific state. Incoherences might be very common and complete absolute accuracy would be totally accidental.]

Random Thoughts

Thought(s) 1 :

Moral Perception -

The most ambiguous yet ubiquitous property. A person's conscience has a great deal of affect over his/her actions effectively prodding the evermost pertinent/trivial question of 'What is the meaning of life?'. Could be considered as a crux of a relationship. The congruence of its properties could be or is the most vital thing linking a set of people.

Example :

"I could actually kill someone to have that chocolate cake tart!!!"

"Here...I had the knife in my bag. Just wipe off the blood please!"

"Ummm...ok!"

Ok, maybe not a valid example. But get's the point through. Doesn't it?

Familiarity -

The art of finding commonalities between a person and another person or an object/place. Familiarity is a comforting component to the recipe of 'inertia of (drastic) change'. A violent or extreme change would heighten a person's senses to find the most familiar substance/property around him/her. Change might bring inexperience along with it and so in order to find that already attained experience a person resorts to finding familiarities. Things looks less clueless then.

Example -

Going out for a drive to someplace and finding a classmate who you barely know, and yet greeting him/her with the warmth of a friend whom you have known since long. (possible hyperbole used)

Knowledge -

A superior fundamental element which changes with perception and would be best understood as a "common understanding" of observations. 'Ignorance is bliss' is a superflous adage just to the comfort of people who were/are too lazy to acquire that required knowledge or too intimidated to face the blatant reality of what it brings.

Example -

"Hey! You're playing the wrong scales. Sharpen the last note and the third last so that its an A Phrygian and the next chord would be a diminished not a minor!!"

"Eh? IS that even a language?"

"I'm telling you what I know. Period."

"Ignorance is bliss!"

Thought 2:

Although there is almost everything you have in life for the taking, achieving all that's possible and impossible. But the things in life which you can't have are the bitter pills to swallow. We are always told that nothing is impossible. It is the best encouragement statement there is, which would motivate people to unachievable targets and people get through. But it also shatters the fact that you can't always get what you want which is built to high expectations with the previous "encouraging statement". Sometimes what you have and what you want can be two really mutually exclusive things!

Jaago Grahak...Jaago

Yaaay! Elections are over.
Yaaay! We Have a new UPA government.
Yaaay! Manmohan got new glasses. No he didn't. Just takin the excitement a notch higher.
Yaaay! Rahul Gandhi...something about youth...blah blah.

OK SHUT UP!

For those who consciously bared witness the ushering in of the fresh new UPA (or is it?) government without the usual love-hate "allies" latching on, it might indeed be good news for India.
We have no Laloo in the Union cabinet. 
Mayawati's not the PM. (like you were gonna! HA!)
CPM made a mark through its campaigns similar to what Bhojpuri movies make in hollywood.
Congress in Uttar Pradesh(!!!) because of Rahul Gandhi's strategic(/purely accidental) tactics.
BJP with the same fate as Virender Sehwags hair. (BALD PATCH AHEAD, buy new caps ASAP)
Blah blah...I can go on about the aftermath.

But the thing is people praising about Manmohan's Singhs greatness. Making him sound like a Superman who eat's Kryptonite for breakfast. "The most responsible, calm, intelligent..." and what not cliches used to describe his victory. Ok yeah! We get it...you won. But lets not go overboard with it. 
You've seen the visuals on TV. You be the judge. I mean look at the man! He looks like a senile lost rabbit who just forgot where he put his carrots. And you surely know who has all the carrots right?
NO?

Lemme give you some visual aid.
(Also, lets play a game here.)



SPOT THE DIFFERENCE :

"CARROTS! CARROTS! CARROTSS!!!"

"I have THIS huge a box of carrots for you Manny! THIS HUGE!"

First of all, If you think I took the first photo and flipped it horizontally and changed the hue-saturation levels...you are certainly thinking what I thought in the first place. But sadly thats not the case!

Before you scream, "Thats a bloody Carbon Copy!"...may I interject by pointing out that these are taken from the times of India, two separate issues. So next morning you wake up and see the same thing maybe flipped vertically, don't act surprised you might see a lot of similar photos through these days at different angles.

Coming back to the content...look at the guy. Do you even remotely think he's taking his own decisions. I bet even when he wants to go to the loo he might ask Sonia Gandhi, "Ma'am! May I go to the bathroom!".
I can give you more photographic proof but that might make me look really desperate about this whole thing and plus i guess these two are good enough to make a point.


Oh and yeah! Also the tale of the brave knight Rahul Gandhi himself. Now since the guys at Times are as jobless as me they asked celebs on what they would expect on a date with Rahul Gandhi...
(how do these guys know what we want in the papers man...i bet they have a mind reading device!).

I wont jot down the whole thing, but here are a few quotes:

Sonam Kapoor : "If I do get the chance to date him, I would spend the time applauding his courage in trying to lead our country..."

My View : This is a clear indication that Sonam Kapoor know squat about dating. Imagine you doing that on your date. Your guy/gal walks in and you start applauding like a maniac who lost his/her freaking mind, your date covers and rolls to the nearest exit. Thanks Sonam!

Shveta Salve : "He is half-Italian and half-Indian. So even the date turns out to be as cheesy as a lasagne, I’m sure he will have the tadka of a dal fry to spice it up! "

My View : Off all the sex euphemisms you could use, WHY THIS! Why?? Although few brownie points for thinking that up. I'm seriously getting some screwed up visions about this one.

Mugdha Godse : "On a date with Rahul Gandhi, I would expect my political knowledge would get an update..."

My View : Is that why you date people?? My Goodness! Get a book!

You can find the other blabberings here : link 

So since the elections are over now, should it be 'So jaao India' ?
Just Speculating!