...obeying the voices in my head...

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Verbal throw up

When was the last time you felt low?

When was the last time you felt like things were in your grasp and you let it go?

Feeling ignored?

I knew what things are and where they belong. Yet there are some things beyond our control. Things which cannot be changed. And then you have to stand and face them for what they are. It fascinating when you see the halo...but then it fades to black when you spot the horns.

It's actually tempting to fall in love. To go to that feeling of being cared and caring for. That big soft huge ball of happiness innocuous as it may seem. Tempted to share. Create a bond.

But reality know where to hit. That ball only had the outer coating of happiness, maybe its hollow or bitter inside. Who knows?

I'm scared sometimes of how dense my thoughts become.
But I'm happy for that fact that I can see something without clouding my sense of judgement (for the moment).
Things can never be absolutely partitioned in a good/bad happy/sad way.
The spectrum is what intrigues me, and exploring it is fun I guess.

[Please note that the post has been written in a soporific state. Incoherences might be very common and complete absolute accuracy would be totally accidental.]