...obeying the voices in my head...

Sunday, September 13, 2009

8765 hours

A month from now my college going days will soon be crashing through the finish line. Although I've still got a year left, but the last semester is a project/training semester (or so we are informed!).
A month! Come to think of it thats nothing compared to the last three years I've gone through.

Then It hit me. Three Years.
So much has happened within these three years. Yet at this point all I can hear is the rapid whooshing sound of the years passing me by.
Which again struck me as an ironic fact! I was never really all that fond of my not-so-perfect alma mater. I have been pretty vocal(well,in blog sense) about it on this post
three years ago. And now here I am. I actually remember writing that post. I remember that each day of college in my first year...regretting each time I stepped off my college bus. The College entrance always had some symbolic congruence to Lord Sauron's Mordor, which was totally...well partially a mental projection. Each long day, counting how long it would take to get out of there. Each minute which lasted an hour, an hour that went on for a day...you get my point.

Again I come to the point of Adaptability, how things started changing once I started accepting what they were. I tried to rebel out by giving entrance tests again in my first year...I got a few places in B'lore. Something stopped me back. And the fact that I did not regret it was the best part.
No, not coz I started liking the institution a lot more. Frankly I still resent the way it still runs. But then I had to embrace the crap within and carry on with whatever that was around me. Life went on.

36 months have passed by.
After being through all that shit. The depression I caught on the first year, the smoking, threats of getting detained due to low attendance in every sem, the absence of any real tutelage, the people who weren't on the same plane of understanding... and then I got used to it.
Thats actually an amazing thing about human nature...put in any rut where things which might be of intense dislike, we get desensitized*. And it happened well. I was numb to all of it...it barely mattered then.

And here I am, at a point where my status has metamorphosed from 'growing up' to 'grown up'(actually that point is still on debate with my parents).Am i actually standing on the precipice of taking 'that plunge' into the big bad world?

I remember a year back I was talking to Dagny, having a conversation about the same thing when her going to college days were about to end. I still remember how I was talking about it and projecting myself on that situation. Somehow when it comes to projecting the past or the future we tend to romanticize things a bit more that required. But those evolve to dreams, don't they?

I have no clue what lies ahead.
I can't say I am prepared.
But I'm just a Dreamer, and I'm good at it!

* - not everytime