...obeying the voices in my head...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Click...and then there was light!

I was lying in bed. Fantascising.
What if i was a billionaire.
Where the hell would i start shoppin.
And all the things came like a rush...
And in my mind came a list, a list of things.
Its what I want that counts , isnt it?
I want an ESP flying V guitar with ear deafening amps.
I want a Digitech GNX 4 guitar processor.
I want a lambhorghini Gallardo and a porsche 911 parked at my garage.
I want a Suzuki Hayabusa.
I want long braided bronze streaked hair.
I want 10 mbps internet connection with unlimited download capacity.
I want Angelina Jolie to leave Brad pitt and come running to me.
I want James Hetfield come at my home and give me guitar classes.
I want Megadeth to perform every saturday nights in my backyard.
I want to erradicate pop music from the world by giving anti-poppy shots to children.
I want (CENSORED).
I want David Blaine comin at my home to give me Levitation lessons.
I want to shot some unwanted crappy politicians with a Magnum sniper rifle.
I want to ban Siddhu from existance.
I want to buy the Bekingham pallace and then sell it at a very high price to some other sensible people.
I want to write a book about people and ask people in bok stored to burn it.
I want a replica of the Millenium Falcon with a life size chewbacca poster.
I want to make 'Friends' seoson 11 and so on...
I want the Simpsons to be aired till the end of the universe(which is around 22 milion years i think!)
I want to be good at tennis and play a mixed doubles with Martina Hingis and Maria Sharapova.
I want to go and ask Schumacker to let other player win once in a while.
I want Ahmedabad to have Rock Shows every saturday.
I want a band very badly.
I want my computer to be updated every Wednesday evenings and monday mornings to the latest top notch settings.
I want a O2 pda mini.
I want an I pod Nano.
I want Reebok air pump shoes.
I want .....

After thinking all this , the mind goes farther away from its physical prescence to calculate the possibility of having all this.
A few minutes it comes back with a wham in the face answer.

And then i think whats the problem in dreaming...i mean like that does do any harm does it.
So i dream again.
SO here am I.... with everything I want.Every single Godamn thing.
A question - "Then what?"
So I think . I think hard and then I see that there's no difference between here and there.

And so I open my eyes again...sigh.

I want ............................................NOTHING!

Sunday, August 06, 2006


What I am going to present you next is with this conversation I had with Caution!! Ramanujam...a conversation defining pure intellect, of abstract thinking and reflecting upon our mundane lives as we seek for adventure.... in everything.

Dedicated to Douglas Adams one of the great authors of all time, this conversation is purely inspired by his works!!!


caution!! ramanujam : damn im so itching to play guitar.. but everyone is sleeping

me: ahhh! thats a really sticky situation....

me: thats the good thing about electric that u can plug ur headphones into the amp n listen

caution!! ramanujam: sticky? as in gum?

me: yeah! kabhi kushi kabhi gum!

me: 2 can play at this game

caution!! ramanujam: aha i see so tis sticky sometimes.. other times its khushi?

caution!! ramanujam: is it governed by the transmodular princliples of space time?

me: i dunno exactly mayB the spasmodic shock ventilator mayb the reason

caution!! ramanujam: ahh thought so.... but how does it change exactly, some kind of beta particle disintegraator?

me: naa its the transfusion of hypoallogetic symbiostytic mesa particles

caution!! ramanujam: impropable

me: but not yet impossible.

caution!! ramanujam: swoosh... im in xena transaguada mclxii fighting with zurluks for dominance over the human race

me: damn! those zurluks i thot i disentigrated them in the planet Kornalafoonis IV after the'"7 minutes battle" on the 'sheep dog desert'...

caution!! ramanujam: aha.. they transmorgified themselves just before the blast hit them and zoomed into transaguada

me: damn! damn! damn them them to the depths of zooplon 6. i thot i knew all the tricks those scumbags had!

caution!! ramanujam: they are building the hyper fusion warp diffuser that can send u in a blast beyond the end of the universe

me: holy crapbag! i think it is time u mite use the borostatopheric shield ray(with in built car vipers!)...

caution!! ramanujam: its raining here... car vipers are useless

me: but i guess the photonic shield ray will!

me: it may not ruun for the first time ...coz u might have to remove the plastic wrapping it came with....the remove the thermocol 2...

caution!! ramanujam: holy shit... the rain isnt rain... its ultra nano robo zombies and they are eating up the equipment

me: oh damn! use the meatsos in ur cryogenic ventismatic fridge those zombies are allergic 2 meatsos!

me: did u use it?

me: otherwise use the smoke of a cremated dead cambodian rabbit, who lived a life impersonating sylvester stallone...i guess that not that hard to find!

me: in think i left one in ur cryogenic fridge

caution!! ramanujam: what i just killed id

me: the zombie nano robots?

caution!! ramanujam: no rabbit

me: yes now cremate the rabbit and use deflect the smoke towards the zombies

caution!! ramanujam: brb

caution!! ramanujam: aha it worked

caution!! ramanujam: the zombies are dust

caution!! ramanujam: and we have stiched the mouths of the zurluks( who have surrendered) so they cant reproduce

caution!! ramanujam: the future is safe

me: yeah! baby

caution!! ramanujam: i have thus earned a good night s sleeps

me: cheers to dead cambodian rabbits!

caution!! ramanujam: and fake sylvester stallones

me: yeah! that 2.....so lets raise our purple wine glasses n give a toast

caution!! ramanujam: and with this we precipitate the end of "the intergalactic wars for trans universal dominance and voting rights of cockroaches"

me: yeah! and as they say - "All's well that ends in a well!"
caution!! ramanujam: or a dustbin

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

To HELL and back...

...through the wall of smoke a face floated towards me, a face that made me jealous of what sheer ugliness I was made up of. But as I stared at the face, I looked deep into the eye. The eye. It was as if it told me not to live.The eye had a red flame inside it, the rest was a hollow black. The black which would give every insignificant human on this planet a feeling of nothingness, it was a black hole which sucked every insanely happy moments of a thing called life. Life seemed a mere object now.
I avoided his eyes and tried to look at something else, anything else. Yet all I saw was a wall of smoke and this face. The face of a man. A man with immense power, who somehow seemed as if he was refraining from using it.
I looked at the next thing i could look at - myself. Where was I? What the 'hell' is this place? And why cant I stand straight? And who is this handsome guy?Things he's a big shot..eh! The next words that came out of my mouth were purely nothin that I intended to speak -
"Get out ma' way ya' handsome freak." I said this and I started to think...of the fistful reaction that was to come.
The man spoke ...the voice was soothing and clear. So clear that anything he said I just felt as to do as he said.
"You're in the wrong place at the wrong time.Turn back as you stand here, this is not a place for the good ones." There was no sign of emotion in his voice it seemed only like a friendly warning...nothing else.
He faded away leaving me in the wall of smoke...I tried to follow him. I didn't know why but it seemed as if he tempted me to follow him.
Moments later I realized his warning was not a fake one. I had just entered a room.Red light sprawled accros the cramped room. The people dressed in red and black each having a ciggarette in their hand. People sittin and smokin coke...and other lying around on the ground consciously unconscious, staring into nothing.A woman surrouded by three hideuos men , yet the woman only laughed and gave a big grin to me. Two men spraying alcohol from garden hoses and giving their share to everyone around. A guy alone in a corner cutting his own skin with a knife and lickin the blood that oozed out of him.
I was no longer able to walk..the guy spraying alcohol noticed me and gave me a whisky bath. A growl came from behind me, no human growl it was. I turned around, but the red light seemed to steal my vision. I was searching for a door but the wall of smoke surrounded me.
I was choking. Eyes started burning...my head was about to explode. And then I saw a man in front of me , pointing and laughing. Everybody else gathered around me and shared the laughs.
'Where the HELL am i?' was the only thing that was going through my mind...
And then the handsome guy came upto to me with a knife in his hand and said
"You should have.....err....listened to......err....my warning, yeah!You should have."
And he was about to stab me when a man behind me started shouting - "Cut!Cut!Cut!".

A man wearing a cap comes upto the handsome guy and shouts - "You cant even remember dialouges. Damn you!At least do something for your debut perfomance mate, the voice dubbing only does you half good! Damn!" he turned to me and added " You were excellent baby!".

He was....