...obeying the voices in my head...

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Let Poison be thy cure

(My writin skills aint that good , so maybe this would be a headache to read. Be free to comment on anything)

Yes, I have decided it. It's final. This is the end, and I will help myself come closer to it. The method that will lead to my end is still undecided.

Hmmm... Stab myself. Nope, slow death.
Jump from the roof. Nope, too painful.
Stand in front of a fast car. But that may risk the life of the person who's driving the car too. I dont wan't anyone else to be hurt cause of me.
Think man, think what could be a fast and painless death.
Seems painless.
The problem is - where do I get it from. I mean I cant go into a shop and say " Excuse me. I need one bottle of poison that would bring a painless death."
Will Rat poison do? Well, food from the school canteen might work better against rat poison.
The chemistry lab, of course.

And so I ask my friend on the phone trying not to reveal my deadly plans to him. "Do you think in some way you can die if you accidently swallowed pottassium cyanide from the school lab?"
"Yeah, right!" came from the other end of the phone."The only thing you'll get is an indigestion or something."

So i'll have to think of plan B.
Suddenly I noticed a cleaning liquid kept on the floor. Observing it closely I found a symbol of a skull, next to which was written 'Do not swallow. The following liquid is injurious to health.'
This may do well.

Now that that's done, next we come on to the suicide note.I took an empty page and scribbled on it -
" I just got bored you know. So that's all folks."
Somehow it seemed to inappropriate, but that's what I wanted.
I go near the window and take a breath of fresh air.
"My last breath." I smiled trying to hide the sadness.This aint so easy. I take the cleaning liquid and open the cork. Strong nauseous fumes came out from the bottle.This aint easy at all.
I raise the drink,"Bottom's up".
As my hand goes halfway through the journey towards my mouth, the phone rings. Thank god for telephones, it saves lives.

I picked it up.
"Please dont die. Please dont kill yourself." Came a worried voice.
I was stunned. I looked up and stared at my ceiling - " God. Is that you?"
The answer was quick."No. Look, here. I am a boy who lives in the building just in front of yours. Dont get offended, but I have been observing you through my telescope from my house for a few weeks. I just found out all things about you from your neighbhours, you know. How you have been so helpful to everyone, how well you study, how you always are a hero at your school. I heard everything about you, right from stuff about your girlfriends to how well you play the drums. You see I have no friends and all I needed was an Idol to look up to. And so i found about you and really liked you, and so I decided I just wanna be like you. I dont want my idol to give up just like that. I know you'll be too angry by now knowing how I've been peeking into your life just to satisfy mine, but you cant just give up like that. Please dont leave me. At least think about all the people that rely on you. Think." He took a deep breath.

I was speechless. What was I thinking.
Oh my god. I accepting myself as a loser.
Even though this boy's voice seemed too kiddish to make sense, he just said the right words.
"Ummmm... look kid, I am angry at you for all this you have done. Just come downstairs i'll meet you there and we'll sort this out.Do i make myself clear."
"Yes, sir."

I took the cleaning bottle in my hand and threw it away.
Suddenly, I seemed so happy to be me. I have a life. Somebody looks upto me as an idol.
Oh my god! What was I thinking?
That's it, I'm gonna live past 99 or whatever.
This boy just changed my perspective of life.But suddenly I felt responsible. Responsible for this boy, responsible for myself.And I was never so good with resposibilities.
But It seemed - What the heck anyways, things are the way they are.
It's my life. It's me and I'm happy to be here.

I walked downstairs and just across the street found a boy waving at me happily.That's him. Poor boy, he's so cute how come he doesn't have friends.
I smiled.
I breathed the fresh air.Oh! fresh air.
Thaonk you , God.

I walked a few steps towards him feeling all free and happy at the same time had the burden of a responsibility of living.
I told you I was bad at responsibilities.
The next thing I see are blurred visions of a car approaching and a red pool I was lying in.
The last thing I heard was guy asking - " What were his last words?"
Then the boy who saved my life stared blankly at him and said -
" He said he was happy to be alive."

I tried to open my eyes. Tried.


P2C2U said...

This is great! Is this an original story?

Ajay "NRkey" Menon said...

Yus! Yus! It was like a spotaenous idea when i couldnt think of anyhtng to write for my blog.

Sarah said...

Did you ever find out if rat poison is painless? Cleaning fluid would't have done it, by the way. Just would've got his stomach messed up like hell. Did you know that this blog comes up pretty high for a google search for poison painless suicide?

Anonymous said...

Totally great read!!

glutexo said...

Well, Google found this post when I was trying to find which painless poison would do to help my rat to no longer suffer from illness. So I read through and think the story’s quite good. ^^

Jeremiah said...

Hey, I liked your story. By the way, I found it by searching "painless poison" on Google. I'm not suicidal or anything, I was just curious.

Juan011 said...

wow that story moved me well not gona lie i was looking up painless poison not ready to die yet or anything i just wanted to have it in case but idk that story makes me want to live to be old haha makes you think thats all

Anonymous said...

wow that is truly amazing you should try to get this published and have doctors read it to patients in psych wards - I've been there twice

Anonymous said...

that's amazing writing! Just a suggestion- research a little more on what Schizophrenic's are like you could write tons more amazing stories under this head and get them all published into a book with the title of your web page. My birth ma was schizo and my doc's say I'm headin' there

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Anonymous said...

Bt i dnt hav any1 who'll understand me ..
I dnt evn hav a friend who lyks me..
Whz gonna stop me nw..;(;(