...obeying the voices in my head...

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Como estas amigo

I was just sittin on my terrace a few days back with my mp3 player and was shufflin' thru the playlist. Suddenly a maiden song pops outta nowhere and then for the next hour I didnt move an inch from my place. It was the metallica, megadeth and maiden playlist...and whenever I listen to maiden all I could think of is the ol' 'Morbid Genesis' days. Listening to trooper n Hallowed be thy name....my god! how memories and nostalgia rush back in.
Its the power of songs you know...every song has an allocation space for the memories at that time. Like listening to hybrid theory reminds me of my eight grade days n stuff like that.
All I could think of at this time was the jam and practice sessions we had at mruganks farm place. And gosh those were such fun times. I donno abt the rest of the people but that period of fun that I had was quite significant for me.

We would all prepare ourselves a week before the actual show when we have to perform, and still we would screw around with our instruments most of the time. At first when I joined the band I used to find it odd as I thought that all these bands worked four hours a day and would not sleep n all. And here we were jammin 2-3 times a week and still we would make it on stage. And considering the amount of practice we did, we did perform quite well. Yeah baby! :D

Of all the morbid sessions it was Mrugank's farm house that I guess I(and maybe 'we the band') enjoyed the most.
Some of the quality moments that we had were as follows ...

  • Maulik, me and mrugank would set out for the jam place all ready with our heavy equipments all decked with processors and stuff like that. The place was about 13kms away, and just when we're about to cross the 10km mark mrugank would suddenly be reminded of the most important thing we needed - the key to the farm house. And this happened 3-4 times as far as i remember. So the double kheti's added a lotta digits on the odometer. Still the stupidity was fun somehow.
  • Maulik singing the Cradle of filth cover of Hallowed be thy name. And people screwing around laughing incessantly. Maulik does have a bright future being Danni filth though.
  • Sid explaining me and mrugank how the A lydian would sound better than an E phrygian or something of that sort for our original composition, while the whole time me n mrugank would have that 'We-are-a-couple-o-baboons-in-a-nuclear-physics-class' expression. I felt like a total illiterate , I donno what mrugank was goin through. But still things did work out well with the lydian mode I think. Hehe!
  • The mic!!! Oh yes...the makeshift mic stands we had to make. Hanging the mic on the window, passin it over the ceiling fan (that was quite a task!)...and the famous balti mic. That is...keepin the mic between two buckets (tough to explain man!) and balancing it in such a way that we have a perfect blend of echo and reverb n delay. Take that digitech!!
  • Forcin mrugank to take his 'gaddi' along!! Yes, we were successful at some attempts.
  • Screwing around with the line-up...sid on drums...maulik on guitars...me on bass...mrugank...umm well he stuck to his guitar as far as i think. Though he did sing a bit one time...damn! i didnt record that!!
Altogether It was so much fun. I used to get scolded back home for coming late sometimes but It was kinda like' a price to pay for' thing.

And It was at the time when we had to clear the farm house that I gotto know how attached I was to the place. Me and mrugank had gone to the farm for the last time to dismantle the drum set...the last piece of equiment left there. And I seriously had that empty feeling to look at the place without people and the energy. It felt so wierd and lifeless at that time. And it was like a big farewell thing. I suddenly got that pang of nostalgia and the sadness of departure type thingies.

And then I was standin there outside...me n mrugank lookin at the house.
"So this is the last time I think we'll be seein this place, right?" I said in a more controlled tone trying to sound all macho and 'Men dont cry' type.
"Yup. The last time. We'll try to jam again some day, though It wont be so soon." Replied mrugank.
We gave a last goodbye to the farm house and departed.

Suddenly lamb of god started off, the maiden playlist was over. Hmmmph...sigh. Back to reality and present times for now. Miss those days!

This post is dedicated to all the 'morbid genesis' members I've been with -
Purav, Mrugank, Maulik, Sid, Sankalp, Percy, Anubhav, Harsh, Joel...all of you guys!
Rock on!!

Thursday, November 22, 2007


Its 3 A.M.
I'm lying in my balcony curled up, letting the winter chill pass through my body.
It gets colder with every passing minute, and the body failing to show any signs of resistance.
Simply because it doesn't want to.
I curse the violently bright moonlight as it laughs upon me.
The numbness sets in...of the cold and everything else. Somehow at such a time if feels better to be numb rather than being receptive to human emotions.
The mind gets drained of all its thoughts except a few that haunt around and refuse to fade.
It's colder now than it was when I came here...and I sleep on the cold floor.
I pull my legs upto my chest feeling an invisible womb of pure feelings around me.
The bat screeches.
I open both my eyes in acrid horror and hear my brain far from solace.

I was never good at accepting things the way they were, always trying to change things around me.
Its a part of life this - change. It just keeps on happenin and the next moment you know, you're somewhere else.
I was never good at adapting, but since the last few years that part of me has been exercised really well. I am a learner though.
I'm a new born child. Denying the rules by which the world plays with. I blindly see the beauty of things and smile and cherish upon the thought that comforts me - 'Beauty is forever'.
But maybe I go far too deep into happiness. Frankly, I don't know.
And 'I don't know' has been the answer to a majority of my own questions.
I am not the type of person who says 'All I want to be is happy'. Coz that is now how things work. With immense happiness always there is pain.
I am numb. And I guess I'm pretty good at seeing things differently now.
But still the adapting part has been a huge question mark for me.
Funny how things work though.
They always change. No matter what resistance you put in. Things change.
It can be the sad part of life or the happiest.
I was never good with change.
But sometimes when I sit and contemplate I realise,
that maybe the only thing constant in this world is change.