...obeying the voices in my head...

Sunday, September 16, 2007

At day's end

I did what I planned to do today. Was out the whole day and kept my mind off of things.
But now am wierdly so tired that I cant think properly...the so called 'brain' that I possess aint functioning. Everything that is happenin right now is purely on what emotion I'm goin through.
I just just kept on sayin things that werent processed in my brain and just went through without any filters...totally raw. And I was swearin' too. I felt bad about that.

Takes me back to friday when I was angry at my senior for he was sayin stuff abt a day when I was pissed off. I suddenly got up from my seat and started shouting and pointing at him and I did swear. It did feel very bad coz he didnt reply and I thought that I would be bashed up for it. But he was silent. That only made me feel worse actually. I did feel a bit strong tho' coz I did stand for what i believed for...just that I was downright blunt to say stuff on his face. And some things never change even with a 'sorry'. Apologies dont help everytime. They dont mend stuff. It was a mixed emotion. Am a confused 'kid' myself.

So, here I am...feeling wierd about things. Just learnt that never figure out things and keep thinking that this is the way things go....coz just when you thought you got it figured out, things strike back. There's this feeling inside your brain - 'Nothing is what it seems!'. Makes sense sometimes.

Random thoughts.
No nightmares tonight I hope.
Happy to be alive,
happy to be living for a reason!