Click...and then there was light!

I was lying in bed. Fantascising.
What if i was a billionaire.
Where the hell would i start shoppin.
And all the things came like a rush...
And in my mind came a list, a list of things.
Its what I want that counts , isnt it?
---------------------------------
I want an ESP flying V guitar with ear deafening amps.
I want a Digitech GNX 4 guitar processor.
I want a lambhorghini Gallardo and a porsche 911 parked at my garage.
I want a Suzuki Hayabusa.
I want long braided bronze streaked hair.
I want 10 mbps internet connection with unlimited download capacity.
I want Angelina Jolie to leave Brad pitt and come running to me.
I want James Hetfield come at my home and give me guitar classes.
I want Megadeth to perform every saturday nights in my backyard.
I want to erradicate pop music from the world by giving anti-poppy shots to children.
I want (CENSORED).
I want David Blaine comin at my home to give me Levitation lessons.
I want to shot some unwanted crappy politicians with a Magnum sniper rifle.
I want to ban Siddhu from existance.
I want to buy the Bekingham pallace and then sell it at a very high price to some other sensible people.
I want to write a book about people and ask people in bok stored to burn it.
I want a replica of the Millenium Falcon with a life size chewbacca poster.
I want to make 'Friends' seoson 11 and so on...
I want the Simpsons to be aired till the end of the universe(which is around 22 milion years i think!)
I want to be good at tennis and play a mixed doubles with Martina Hingis and Maria Sharapova.
I want to go and ask Schumacker to let other player win once in a while.
I want Ahmedabad to have Rock Shows every saturday.
I want a band very badly.
I want my computer to be updated every Wednesday evenings and monday mornings to the latest top notch settings.
I want a O2 pda mini.
I want an I pod Nano.
I want Reebok air pump shoes.
I want .....

After thinking all this , the mind goes farther away from its physical prescence to calculate the possibility of having all this.
A few minutes it comes back with a wham in the face answer.
"NO!"

And then i think whats the problem in dreaming...i mean like that does do any harm does it.
So i dream again.
SO here am I.... with everything I want.Every single Godamn thing.
A question - "Then what?"
So I think . I think hard and then I see that there's no difference between here and there.

And so I open my eyes again...sigh.

I want ............................................NOTHING!

A blind Kamikaze

Everytime I wake up, I feel I have entered into a new world . You know those first 30 seconds after opening your eyes in the morning wishing the pillow to be touching your face for the next few hours. Unfortunately we dont control our lives fully.
Everytime I make myself say in the morning "Today it's gonna be different. I'll be a whole new person." Only to sub-consciously realize that I am in the same depth of water as I was yesterday, and the day before , and the day before. When will i possible change myself, when will I be hard workin' and move my silly lazy ass for a while. The answer lies inside all of us. Yet, I am too arrogant to accept it.
It seems so easy nowadays too cut this chord of life - and man they are really many many ways. But I'm not here to give tips on - 99 ways to die. I just need a pinch of sanity to keep my insane life runin' on its feet.
I'm Bracin' myself to whatever comes ahead of me. I live for now , not for the past or the future.
Anyway it's so easy to write this stuff - so damn hard to implement it. Well, that's life right!!!

People R strange

y is it people, that we always pine for something we dont have?

We always look at someone else and say "Yeah, man i wanna be like him/her.I want a good body, a great face, lots of money." Well , all i have to say is dreaming isnt a crime. But when we think deep in our minds does anyone feel that everythings all we need. So there comes another question of what is want and what is need. This is the most tricky part - bcoz something that u always wanted later on builds up and bcomes a need. And suddenly u start fantasizing about it and keep your thoughts fixed on it. But, to desire is human , right. And sometimes what happens is that you pine for a thing so long that when you eventually get it - u think "This is it! This is what i've been waiting for such a long." But leave it this is a rare case. All we think is to be in someone else's shoes and daydream. And yes i have seen some people go so deep into this daydreaming that they somehow forget their own identities and associate themselves with what they want to be. ( After reading this sentance dont think that i live in a mental institute coz if u look closely at the people around you you'll know what i'm talking about.) Greed is altogether a different thing but i dont wanna go into that its just another topic.

So y is it that we only see others riches and not look at what we have? Well the thing is that whatever things we have we take it for granted . We dont know the value of anything unless it is lost or stolen or borrowed. Also another thing is "Humans like to compare". And when they compare the always try to compare themselves or others with the best . Hey, what the hell who wants to be the best?

This stuff gets mighty complicated but people , even though i'm just a teen i tell u this -

"Look at yourself First and understand what you are , who you are. "